What the hell is “transgendered”?  It could mean just about anything–and this is the problem with it.

“Transgendered” has replaced “transsexual”–and this where the problem lies.

I remember a series of questions we boys answered, on paper, in health class one day.  There were no “right” or “wrong” answers–these were only for the eyes of the teacher.

The only one I remember specifically was something like this:

“I wish I were a girl (‘Yes’ or ‘No’).”

I gave this one a lot of thought.

My friend next door had once asked, “Have you ever wanted to be a girl–just to see what it’s like?”

Of course I had–who hadn’t?

There is no man on earth who hasn’t wondered what it would be like to be female–just as there is no woman on earth who hasn’t wondered what it would be like to be male.

But in honestly answering this question, did I really want to be a girl–forever?

Certainly there were advantages to being a girl.

The main one was this–girls weren’t expected to fight.

I had bullied other boys, when I was younger–though not all the time.

Yet at this point, the bullying of me, by other boys, had begun–and it was all the time.

And because I was a boy, I was expected to physically fight these bullies.

But my sisters were not expected to fight bullies–in fact, they were taught not to fight.

‘If I were a girl, I wouldn’t have to fight these bullies,’ I thought.

That would have been an advantage to being a girl.

But did I really wish I were a girl–forever?


I felt what most boys felt–that I was meant to be a boy–or at least that I was happy enough, being a boy.

So I was able to honestly answer the “Yes” or “No” question, “I wish I were a girl,” with “No”.

But there are some boys who really believe they should be girls–some men who really believe they should be women.

And there are some girls who really believe they should be boys–some women who really believe they should be men.

There probably always have been.

Traditionally, this feeling has been listed–along with all other psychosexual disorders–as “gender-identity disorder”.

Maybe it is a psychosexual disorder–maybe it isn’t.

However, to a person who truly believes that he or she should be a member of the opposite sex, it probably doesn’t make any difference.

Transsexualism–though a recent phenomenon–has still existed for as long as genital reconstructive surgery has.

And though most might argue that a sex-change operation does not truly change one’s sex–few would argue that once someone has gone through the slow, painful process of sexual reconstructive surgery, he or she should not be allowed to use the restroom of the sex whose genitalia most closely resemble his or her reconstructed ones.

More plainly, few would argue that a person with a penis and testicles should not be allowed to use the men’s room–and few would argue that a person with a vagina should not be allowed to use the women’s room.

And this is generally the case, even if that person was not born with a penis and testicles–or born with a vagina.

Shouldn’t Bruce Jenner–who has endured the pain of sexual reconstructive surgery, literally having his penis and testicles replaced with a surgically-formed vagina–now be allowed to use the women’s room, instead of the men’s room?

Few would argue with this.

But what about a man who claims that he really should be a woman–yet has not had his genitalia surgically reconstructed?

Should he be allowed to expose his male genitalia to women and girls in the women’s room?

And what about a woman who claims that she really should be a man–yet has not had her genitalia surgically reconstructed?

Should she be allowed to expose her female genitalia to men and boys in the men’s room?

What sane person would answer “Yes”, in either case?

Yet the Obama Administration is literally forcing such an insane law on this entire nation–and the governor of North Carolina (as well those of a few other states) is resisting it.

And why shouldn’t he?

This law–that a person can expose his or her genitalia to members of the opposite sex, simply because he or she claims to identify with the opposite sex–is an open door to voyeurs, exhibitionists, and pedophiles.

Under the Obama Administration’s law, a man can legally expose his penis and testicles, not only to grown women, but to little girls, in the women’s room–simply by claiming to be “transgendered”.

Under the Obama Administration’s law, a woman can legally expose her vagina, not only to grown men, but to little boys, in the men’s room–simply by claiming to be “transgendered”.

Again–what sane person would support this insane law?


When someone dies, you know this is not a choice that person has made.

But when someone treats you as if you were dead, you know this is a choice that person has made.


“They say the truth is in the wine, but only so much…The lithium is working well…I do know what the hell I’m doing…you are alcoholic.”

Interesting, Dr. Arthur DuMont–you Zionist Jew motherfucker.  My very first psychiatrist is–as one of the other patients here puts it–a sadist.  The lithium is not working well.  I am subdued under it–but inside, I’m screaming.  Because I have no bipolar disorder.  In fact, my primary disorder is obsessive-compulsive disorder.  You didn’t recognize this–that was your first mistake.  Interesting that you don’t say I am an alcoholic–but only that I am alcoholic.  That is rather vague–and it is your second mistake, anyway.  I only used alcohol to release my inhibitions enough to carry out my crash–my “nervous breakdown”.  I didn’t drink nearly enough whiskey to get truly drunk.  And you say you know what the hell you’re doing–how mistaken you are.  Finally, you say I cannot leave this facility without your approval–this is your final mistake.  Though my parents brought me here last month–November, 1985–I signed myself in.  So I can sign myself out any time.  In fact, the only reason I have stayed here this long is that my father has told me the insurance probably won’t cover my stay, if I leave A.M.A. (against medical advice).  Wrong again.  You want to keep me here–at Southland Hospital–for six months.  Yet my parents feel that six weeks is long enough–and they will spring me out of this place in time for Christmas.  I have the memory of what I’ve learned here in Rosemary’s assertiveness training class–and even the memory of my pastor Jeff Spiller’s wisdom (I told Jeff of my fear that I no longer believed Jesus was the Son of God–and he suggested I put that fear aside, and concentrate on recovery for the moment).  So now I will sign myself out–and leave this facility, of my own free will.

“How do you know I’m Jewish?  And how do you know what Zionism is?”

Or maybe I’ll just beat the hell out of you.

And I proceed to do so.

Yet he changes into Raymond Ellis–and I continue beating him against the asphalt.

Yeah, you little piece of shit.  So it’s 1979 now–and this is the bus stop to Hillsdale Middle School.  My dad gave me the words to give you–“Raymond, I have something to tell you–you called me ‘gay’ again!”  Yet the first time, I pulled my punches–and you even sicced your German shepherd on me–shame on you!  I didn’t even know how to throw a punch correctly, because I had not yet taken boxing training at the Mobile Police Athletic League.  Now I have.

And I continue beating this little piece of shit–who was taller than I, at the time–until he is completely unconscious.

“I’m a lover, not a fighter, and I’m really built for speed”–pre-war (before the Second World War) blues song I would hear, and record, on Blues Before Sunrise on NPR early in the Twenty-First Century.  The Prince song “1999” is that with which I begin this Irish-coffee set in 2016.

And I’m on the bus home from Camp Lee in 1982.  One of the guys is playing this new song on his radio (not quite a “boombox” or “ghetto-blaster” yet)–and everyone is listening, fascinated.

I sit alone.  They don’t know I come from a time when this new musician Prince–whom a famous rapper in the Twenty-First Century would accurately label “misunderstood”–has died.

Yeah, this trip to Camp Lee was a drag.  I was in love with Alison Allen–but she didn’t even notice me.  She was too hung up on some blond-haired guy who could ridiculously recite the lyrics to some ridiculous song called “Rock Lobster”.

And I’m back at Camp Lee in 1983.  Camp Lee–a church camp in an exquisitely beautiful location outside of Anniston, Alabama.  The camp director, Jim Black, is an unforgettable man.  He tells amazing ghost stories–and brilliantly impersonates Jerry Clower (“Hawwwwwwwww!”), as he leads us to and from the “slock ride” (rock slide)–a cool, natural-spring waterfall, with a splash-landing pool in which one cannot fail to safely, softly splash-land.  There is even a knotted rope by which one can climb the mossy rocks back to the top to slide down again (and fall backward laughingly, safely into the natural pool (whose water is so clean that he can safely drink it), if he happens to lose his grip).

(I used Digital-Age gender qualifiers (“or she”)–then found it too damned complicated.  And I absolutely refused to use “their” for a singular–better to use grammatically correct language than politically correct language.)

Cathy Marlow.  Interesting.  She’s my first love–after I’ve had my first lover (the Hispanic woman whose name I wish to God I could recall), earlier this summer.  (I was in love with a girl named Ginger, in the first grade, but I didn’t understand this feeling then–this time, I understand it.)  Cathy Marlow–also the only time I will ever experience love-at-first-sight.  Yes, I see her as I enter the cafeteria at Camp Lee.  Our eyes meet for an instant, as she talks to her friends–and I just know–and so does she.

She’s a brunette who could so easily be one of those classic Hollywood actresses whose likenesses I would post on my blog in the next century. Easy on the eyes, indeed.


The youth from Christ United Methodist Church and Smyrna Baptist Church meet together in the fellowship hall.  Pick a partner–Cathy and I pick each other.  And sing, “I love you in the love of the Lord, Oh I love you in the love of the Lord.  I can see in you the glory of my King, and I love you in the love of the Lord.”  Her eyes are far brighter than mine.

And we end up walking together in a nearby meadow–this Georgia peach and I.

And we meet again and again in the blinding sunlight over the next few days–and kiss and cuddle–and talk.

It’s now the day before we take the bus back to Mobile–and I’ve received underground word that some of the couples are going to be making out in that same meadow tonight.

I meet Cathy Marlow near the pool.  She’s especially hot in that black swimsuit. And I invite her to join me in the meadow tonight–in the most delicate way possible.

And here she lies–apparently.

“I’m not ready for that–my ex-boyfriend just got my best friend pregnant.”

I explain to her that I can’t stand it–that I can’t be with her at all if I can’t get more intimate with her.

“From the moment I met you,” she says, “I knew that you were special.”

And we kiss, and part.

And that night, I take the chair.

The chair–a very effective form of therapy.

One chair in the center of a circle of chairs.

Over the course of a few hours, individuals take their turns in that chair, in the dark–and get their feelings out.

No one is required to take a turn in the chair.

But this time I do.

I let it all out–how this girl honest-to-God broke my heart–and I cry my eyes out.

And an angel descends, and holds me.

Mrs. Dart.

Golden blonde with an equally golden heart.

My den mother when I was a Cub Scout–with whom I was infatuated then, and with whom I’m infatuated now.

This angel understands–and she lets my tears soak her blouse.

That night I can’t sleep.

I get a sudden feeling of terror–as if I’m going to die.

It’s my first panic attack (or anxiety attack)–brought on by a feeling of abandonment brought on by Cathy Marlow.

The other boys in the lodge wonder if I’m okay.  I assure them that I seem to be–as I play John Denver songs on my little stereo to calm myself.

The next morning, I get Cathy Marlow’s address from her, so I can write her.

And the next night, I have a good talk with my brother-in-law Tom–who assures me that eventually I will say, “Cathy who?”

And he’s right.

Yet a decade later I write Cathy Marlow–for the first time perhaps.

And the letter is forwarded to Rome, Georgia.

Cathy’s name is no longer “Marlow”–she’s married, and has two children.

She sends me a nice photograph of her and her husband.

I cut him out of the damned thing–and paste her likeness into my journal.

And I talk with her over the phone a few times.

One night, I am speaking with her from the phone in my parents’ garage.  It is storming where she is, and her husband is away.  Her husband has one of those jobs (building contractor, I think) for which he is away from home quite often. And the thunder is making Cathy nervous.  And she finds comfort confiding in me.

And I remind her of what she said to me that afternoon in the summer of 1983–that she couldn’t go to the meadow with me because her ex-boyfriend had gotten her best friend pregnant.

And Cathy says, “I never said that.”

So Cathy was lying then–or she is lying now.

I press her–but only as far as she will allow.  Then she says she can no longer talk with me over the phone–that she is starting to get tempted.

And I’ll never know when Cathy was lying–in 1983, or in 1993.

It is to this woman’s credit that she ceased communication with me, in order to remain faithful to her husband.  But it is not to her credit that she lied to me–whenever it was.

It is thundering here now–in this goddamned Digital Age.

And the remaining $120 in my wallet will be gone before Sunday.

And loneliness for a woman’s love is the least of my problems.

There is a thirty-year-old bottle of Scotch in a secured cabinet at a liquor store I know.  It is over $400.

And ever since I first saw that thirty-year-old bottle of Scotch Wednesday I’ve wondered:

Would drinking that entire bottle of Scotch literally transport me back to 1986–or earlier?

If I knew it would, I’d sell even my truck for that one-way ticket out of this goddamned Digital Age.

It’s easy to escape a place–but how does one escape a time?

“And, behold, one came and said unto him, Good Master, what good thing shall I do, that I may have eternal life?

“And he said unto him, Why callest thou me good?  there is none good but one, that is, God:  but if thou wilt enter into life, keep the commandments.

“He said unto him, Which?  Jesus said, Thou shalt do no murder, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness, Honour thy father and thy mother:  and, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

“The young man saith unto him, All these things have I kept from my youth up: what lack I yet?

“Jesus said unto him, If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven:  and come and follow me.

“But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful:  for he had great possessions.

“Then said Jesus unto his disciples, Verily I say unto you, That a rich man shall hardly enter into the kingdom of heaven.  And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.

“When his disciples heard it, they were exceedingly amazed, saying, Who then can be saved?

“But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.”

Then wake me from this Digital-Age nightmare.

Deliver me from this Digital-Age hell.


Both of my sisters have been following my blog–apparently for a very long time.

Early last month, one of them told our father about my blog–but only about the things I’d written that would embarrass him the most.

Because of this, my father has completely shut me out of his life.  And my mother has completely shut me out of her life.  And my sisters have completely shut me out of their lives.  And even my brothers-in-law have completely shut me out of their lives.

Yet apparently, the ultimate motive for this action taken by my immediate family is not wrath–but greed.


PIPER LAURIE 3PIPER LAURIE 2PIPER LAURIE 1Piper Laurie 1Piper Laurie 2Piper Laurie 3Piper Laurie 4Piper Laurie 5



Piper Laurie 7Piper Laurie 8Piper Laurie 9Piper Laurie 10Piper Laurie 11Piper Laurie 12Piper Laurie 13Piper Laurie 14Piper Laurie 15Piper Laurie 16Piper Laurie 17Piper Laurie 18Piper Laurie 19Piper Laurie 20Piper Laurie 21Piper Laurie 22Piper Laurie 23Piper Laurie 24Piper Laurie 25Piper Laurie 26Piper Laurie 27Piper Laurie 28Piper Laurie 29Piper Laurie 30Piper Laurie 31

Actress Piper Laurie ca. 1956

Actress Piper Laurie ca. 1956

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Piper Laurie from the Film ca. 1955

Piper Laurie from the Film ca. 1955

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CHILDREN OF A LESSER GOD, Piper Laurie, 1986, (c)Paramount

CHILDREN OF A LESSER GOD, Piper Laurie, 1986, (c)Paramount

DREAM A LITTLE DREAM, Piper Laurie, 1989. ©Vestron Pictures

DREAM A LITTLE DREAM, Piper Laurie, 1989. ©Vestron Pictures

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So much stuff about which to write–if my extremely correct grammar offendeth thee, don’t read it!

I thought of all kinds of starting points for this post–as I listened first to the Manchester Orchestra’s “Simple Math”–especially to the track, “Virgin”.  I had to Google all over the place to find where I’d heard that–it was featured in a PBS documentary entitled, “Little Hope Was Arson”.

Very disturbing, yet well-made documentary.

Best documentary I’ve ever seen?  “Crumb”–a 1994 documentary about the underground comic artist Robert Crumb–directed by Terry Zwigoff.

“Crumb” has everything–comedic and dramatic–watch it!

Another film I recommend:

“Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”

And a book I recommend:

Slaughterhouse Five, by Kurt Vonnegut.

In this film and in this book, the protagonist just shows up at random moments in his life.

“Yeah, Vinny–Scott Bakula, and all that.”

Next, I finally listened to the CD “In Cold Remembrance” by Ashes & Rain–after putting it off for God knows how long.

It is extremely dark, serious heavy metal–“death metal” as “Beavis and Butthead” would call it.

And one would would have to be drunk (or stoned) to appreciate it!

So I am on the floor of the nicest trailer in which I’ve ever been.  And I find myself in mid-sentence–almost begging this woman not to give me leave, so as not to get a D.U.I.

Wouldn’t get a D.U.I.  Yet I might salvage something here.

“So sorry I drank all of your Kahlua.”

Truly wish I could remember this woman’s name.

“You’re 48?  I’m actually older than you, at this point.”

A blonde.

What a fool I was–I couldn’t take my eyes off the photograph of her younger self (resembling Tammy Wynette), as I became one with this lovely–who actually put talcum powder on her trim beforehand.  What a unique woman.  Relish whom you have.

I’d make the same mistake with Ruth–focusing on the photograph of her younger self, as she bathed afterward.

Relish what you have–and whom you have–in the moment.

“…it’s always the same old story–you never know what you’ve got till it’s gone”

Mike and the Mechanics

“Relinquish your attachment to the outcome–everything is as it is meant to be, in this moment.”

Deepak Chopra

“Yes, I am so sorry I drank all of your Kahlua.  Yet you’d be amazed at where when I have been–a hell called the “Digital Age”.

“You’re not familiar with the “Digital Age”?  You’ve never heard of the Internet?  This is perfect–this is where when I need to be.”

Yet then I surface to another.  I know this one’s name–Sylvia.  She’s 52–or so she claims (age doesn’t matter unless you are a cheese).  I’ve become one with Sylvia too–in my (and my brother’s) old bedroom.  It is 1989.  Is this after, or before the woman before?  No matter.

I reside in a trailer at this point.  But this is not a nice trailer–it is a “trailer-trash” trailer in Eight-Mile–in the midst of a badly neglected trailer park.

Yet here I am with Sylvia in the home of my youth.  My parents are away–caring for my dying brother in Connecticut.  He has been the black sheep of my family because of his psychosexual disorder.  Yet he is still Christian, in belief–so he will die forgiven, at age 33.

Then I’ll be the black sheep–because of my unconventional spiritual beliefs, and my unpopular political views.

But I don’t know this yet.  And when I turn 33, I’ll expect to die, at the same age as my brother did–yet will be shocked to live on into the goddamned Digital Age, and to witness the slow, painful death of my country, and of my world–at the hands of Facebook and Twitter, and those diabolical mobile devices–those Digital-Age pacifiers (cellphones, iphones, and smartphones) that dehumanize all to which they are addicted (“It was the machines, Sarah.  Defense network computers Digital-Age pacifiers–new, powerful.  We created them in our image–and they reshaped us into theirs.”)

All I know at this moment is that I asked–in an outburst of exasperation–“Won’t one of you women go out with me?”

And Sylvia emerged–alone amidst the throng of dancing damsels–and dared say she would.

Next week I would shudder from her.  She’d have a cold, and be without makeup–thus revealing her true age.

She’d end up marrying a man of her age soon after.  And I’d smile to think I had awakened her sexuality–thus preparing her for this match.

Yet this time, I’d know better than to leave her in the first place.  For just as we are all naked beneath our clothes–all women are only human beneath their makeup.

Here I am only two years younger than she, in soul–at that moment in which I realize the nipples that adorn her disappointingly small breasts are far from disappointing.  Indeed, they are as large as cherries strawberries.

And I’m gone again.

“Why does sex with you always end up with religion?” I remember a girl saying to a guy in an episode of a television series–or maybe a film.

And it does–I don’t know why.

Foreigners make the best Americans.

They know not to take this prosperity for granted.

They know not to take this liberty for granted.

Let therefore the followers of Donald Trump move to Mexico–and the same number of Mexicans move here.

And let therefore the followers of Hillary Clinton move to Syria–and the same number of Syrians move here.

“And Jesus went out, and departed from the temple:  and his disciples came to him for to shew him the buildings of the temple.

“And Jesus said unto them, See ye not all these things?  verily I say unto you, There shall not be left here one stone upon another, that shall not be thrown down.

“And as he sat upon the mount of Olives, the disciples came unto him privately, saying, Tell us, when shall these things be?  and what shall be the sign of thy coming, and of the end of the world?

“And Jesus answered and said unto them, Take heed that no man deceive you.

“For many shall come in my name, saying, I am Christ; and shall deceive many.

“And ye shall hear of wars and rumours of wars:  see that ye be not troubled:  for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet come.

“For nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom:  and there shall be famines, and pestilences, and earthquakes, in divers places.

“All these are the beginning of sorrows.

“Then shall they deliver you up to be afflicted, and shall kill you:  and ye shall be hated of all nations for my name’s sake.

“And then shall many be offended, and shall betray one another, and shall hate one another.

“And many false prophets shall rise, and shall deceive many.

“And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold.

“But he that shall endure to the end, the same shall be saved.

“And this gospel of the kingdom shall be preached in all the world for a witness unto all nations; and then shall the end come.

“When ye therefore shall see the abomination of desolation spoken of by Daniel the prophet, stand in the holy place, (whoso readeth, let him understand:)

“Then let them which be in Judaea flee into the mountains:

“Let him which is on the housetop not come down to take any thing out of his house:

“Neither let him which is in the field return back to take his clothes.

“And woe unto them that are with child, and to them that give suck in those days!

“But pray ye that your flight be not in the winter, neither on the sabbath day:

“For then shall be great tribulation, such as was not since the beginning of the world to this time, no, nor ever shall be.

“And except those days should be shortened, there should no flesh be saved:  but for the elect’s sake those days shall be shortened.

“Then if any man shall say unto you, Lo, here is Christ, or there; believe it not.

“For there shall arise false Christs, and false prophets, and shall shew great signs and wonders; insomuch that, if it were possible, they shall deceive the very elect.

“Behold I have told you before.

“Wherefore if they shall say unto you, Behold, he is in the desert; go not forth:  behold, he is in the secret chambers; believe it not.

“For as the lightning cometh out of the east, and shineth even unto the west; so shall also the coming of the Son of man be.

“For wheresoever the carcase is, there will the eagles be gathered together.

“Immediately after the tribulation of those days, shall the sun be darkened, and the moon shall not give her light, and the stars shall fall from heaven, and the powers of the heavens shall be shaken:

“And then shall appear the sign of the Son of man in heaven:  and then shall all the tribes of the earth mourn, and they shall see the Son of man coming in the clouds of heaven with power and great glory.

“And he shall send his angels with a great sound of a trumpet, and they shall gather together his elect from the four winds, from one end of heaven to the other.

“Now learn a parable of the fig tree; When his branch is yet tender, and putteth forth leaves, ye know that summer is nigh:

“So likewise ye, when ye shall see all these things, know that it is near, even at the doors.

“Verily I say unto you, This generation shall not pass, till all these things be fulfilled.

“Heaven and earth shall pass away, but my words shall not pass away.

“But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.

“But as the days of Noe were, so shall also the coming of the Son of man be.

“For as in the days that were before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noe entered into the ark,

“And knew not until the flood came, and took them away; so shall also the coming of the Son of man be.

“Then shall two be in the field; the one shall be taken, and the other left.

“Two women shall be grinding at the mill; the one shall be taken, and the other left.

“Watch therefore:  for ye know not what hour your Lord doth come.

“But know this, that if the goodman of the house had known in what watch the thief would come, he would have watched, and would not have suffered his house to be broken up.

“Therefore be ye also ready:  for in such an hour as ye think not the Son of man cometh.”

This same prophecy of Matthew 24:1-44 is also given in Mark 13–significant especially because Mark was written before Matthew.  Mark–the earliest written of the four canonized Gospels (there were so many more that were not canonized)–was written approximately forty years after Jesus’ death.

Eagles.  The sun and moon.

“When the mythological layer collapses, and the political kings fall, then the patriarchy, as a positive force, is over.  The sun and moon energies can no longer get down to earth.  Ancient Celtic mythology has an image for the end of the patriarchy, and it is this:

“Eagles sit on the top branches of the sacred tree, with dead animals underneath their claws.  Rotting bits of flesh fall down through the branches to the ground beneath, where the swine eat them.

“We are the swine.  When all the meat that comes down from above is rotten, then neither the sons nor daughters receive the true meat.  Women have been and still are right in their complaints about the food they find on earth, but men are not well fed either.  Naturally everyone is dissatisfied, for neither men nor women are receiving the true meat.”

Wrote Robert Bly, almost two millennia later.

Thus the apocalyptic imagery dances from our beginning to our end.

“Jesus of Montreal” and Andrei Tarkovsky’s “The Sacrifice”.

“Omen III: The Final Conflict” and “The Medusa Touch”.

They look for an Antichrist in the Holy Land–while the Antichrist sits patiently in their collective palm Sunday.  It is a cellular drug of which they cannot get enough.  And it tears them from their worship, their driving, their fellowship, their eating, their drinking, their loving, their thinking, their living.  That Digital-Age pacifier is the epitome of the mammon of which Jesus speaks.

And I emerge here–at last with the first.


Oh to assassinate the Digital-Age Antichrist conceived by Jobs, Gates, Zuckerberg, and the like–retroactive revenge on the nerds.  To shut down the system before it goes up.

Yet for now, “te quiero.”  And this time, I’ll stay the whole night.


“No servant can serve two masters:  for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other.  Ye cannot serve God and mammon.”

“…For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required…”

Luke 16:13

Luke 12:48 (excerpt)


“He descended into hell…”

Dressed in this monkey suit, it appears that I have one last task before I can get to the next universe.

“Good morning, brothers and sisters!  Welcome to the Mega-Baptist Church of Pensacola, Florida–the Buckle of the Bible Belt!  Jesus saves!  And God bless America!”

I went the way of Attila the Hun.  My brother’s marker–which is right beside mine–reads, “Music is eternal”–but mine does not read, “God is unlimited,” and I am really pissed off!

“Yes, Jesus saves–and God bless America, brothers and sisters!  Now…Who is that soiled beast?  Get him outta here!”

You get the hell out of the way, you “Howdy Doody”, “Alfred E. Neuman” motherfucker–and take your mindless religious, nationalistic bullshit with you.

Yes, I am quite soiled, ladies and gentlemen of this lost congregation.  And I really don’t want to be here.  But it appears that our Creator has one last task in mind for me, before I can leave this Digital-Age hell.

And I am not Jesus, though I descend into this Digital-Age hell–a part of the Apostles’ Creed that the United Methodists delete because it is unpleasant–the Apostles’ Creed with which you Baptists are totally unfamiliar–and which is definitely included in the Catechism of the Catholics, whom you Baptists so readily dismiss as “unchristian”.

If you want a point of reference for this intrusion–which I am sure will ruin your shallow Sunday, click on this link:


Not now, you fucking idiots–later!

You worry so much about a devil–but the Devil is in your goddamned smartphone! You think you would recognize Satan–think again!  Satan (or the Antichrist, if you will) would not appear to you in any recognizable form.  No, he would appear as something so benign as your smartphone–and especially the social media–Facebook and Twitter–with which you spend most of your time on your smartphone.

So put those fucking smartphones away–and don’t even begin to use the “taking the Lord’s name in vain” label on me–having no understanding of that commandment from the Old Testament.  For you claim that the Bible is the all-inspired, infallible Word of God–yet you don’t read it.  And you claim that Jesus was the incarnation of God on earth–yet you don’t follow him.

How dare you!

Now here are the scriptures for today:

“Think not that I am come to send peace on earth:  I came not to send peace, but a sword.  For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. And a man’s foes shall be they of his own household.  He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me:  and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.  And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me.”

Matthew 10:34-38

Are you uncomfortable yet?

“And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are:  for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men.  Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.  But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.”

Matthew 6:5-6

Are you uncomfortable yet?

“And he said unto them, Ye are they which justify yourselves before men; but God knoweth your hearts:  for that which is highly esteemed among men is abomination in the sight of God.”

Luke 16:15

Are you uncomfortable yet?

“And he spake this parable unto certain which trusteth in themselves that they were righteous, and despised others:  Two men went up into the Temple to pray; the one a Pharisee, and the other a publican.  The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican.  I fast twice in the week, I give tithes of all that I possess.  And the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner.  I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other:  for every one that exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.”

Luke 18:9-14

Are you uncomfortable yet?

“Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on him, If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed; And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.  They answered him, We be Abraham’s seed, and were never in bondage to any man:  how sayest thou, Ye shall be made free?  Jesus answered them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Whosoever committeth sin is the servant of sin.  And the servant abideth not in the house for ever:  but the Son abideth ever. If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.  I know that ye are Abraham’s seed; but ye seek to kill me, because my word hath no place in you.  I speak that which I have seen with my Father:  and ye do that which ye have seen with your father.  They answered and said unto him, Abraham is our father.  Jesus saith unto them, If ye were Abraham’s children, ye would do the works of Abraham.  But now ye seek to kill me, a man that hath told you the truth, which I have heard of God:  this did not Abraham.  Ye do the deeds of your father.  Then said they to him, We be not born of fornication; we have one Father, even God.  Jesus said unto them, If God were your Father, ye would love me:  for I proceeded forth and came from God; neither came I of myself, but he sent me. Why do ye not understand my speech?  even because ye cannot hear my word. Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do.  He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him.  When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own:  for he is a liar, and the father of it.  And because I tell you the truth, ye believe me not.  Which of you convinceth me of sin?  And if I say the truth, why do ye not believe me? He that is of God heareth God’s words:  ye therefore hear them not, because ye are not of God.  Then answered the Jews, and said unto him, Say we not well that thou art a Samaritan, and hast a devil?  Jesus answered, I have not a devil; but I honour my Father, and ye do dishonour me.  And I seek not mine own glory: there is one that seeketh and judgeth.  Verily, verily, I say unto you, If a man keep my saying, he shall never see death.  Then said the Jews unto him, Now we know that thou hast a devil.  Abraham is dead, and the prophets; and thou sayest, If a man keep my saying, he shall never taste of death.  Art thou greater than our father Abraham, which is dead?  and the prophets are dead:  whom makest thou thyself?  Jesus answered, If I honour myself, my honour is nothing: it is my Father that honoureth me; of whom ye say, that he is your God:  Yet ye have not known him; but I know him:  and if I should say, I know him not, I shall be a liar like unto you:  but I know him, and keep his saying.  Your father Abraham rejoiced to see my day:  and he saw it, and was glad.  Then said the Jews unto him, Thou art not yet fifty years old, and hast thou seen Abraham? Jesus said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Before Abraham was, I am. Then took they up stones to cast at him:  but Jesus hid himself, and went out of the temple, going through the midst of them, and so passed by.”

John 8:31-59

Are you uncomfortable yet?

“And when he was demanded of the Pharisees, when the kingdom of God should come, he answered them and said, The kingdom of God cometh not with observation:  Neither shall they say, Lo here!  or, lo there!  for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you.”

Luke 17:20-21

Are you uncomfortable yet?

“And it came to pass that he went through the corn fields on the sabbath day; and his disciples began, as they went, to pluck the ears of corn.  And the Pharisees said unto him, Behold, why do they on the sabbath day that which is not lawful? And he said unto them, Have ye never read what David did, when he had need, and was an hungred, he, and they that were with him?  How he went into the house of God in the days of Abiathar the high priest, and did eat the shewbread, which is not lawful to eat but for the priests, and gave also to them which were with him?  And he said unto them, The sabbath was made for man, and not man for the sabbath:  Therefore the Son of man is Lord also of the sabbath.”

Mark 2:23-28

Are you uncomfortable yet?

“And when he was gone forth into the way, there came one running, and kneeled to him, and asked him, Good Master, what shall I do that I may inherit eternal life?  And Jesus said unto him, Why callest thou me good?  there is none good but one, that is, God.”

Mark 10:17-18

Are you uncomfortable yet?

“And, behold, a certain lawyer stood up, and tempted him, saying, Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?  He said unto him, What is written in the law? how readest thou?  And he answering said, thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself.  And he said unto him, Thou hast answered right:  this do, and thou shalt live.  But he, willing to justify himself, said unto Jesus, And who is my neighbour?  And Jesus answering said, A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, which stripped him of his raiment, and wounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead.  And by chance there came down a certain priest that way:  and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side.  And likewise a Levite, when he was at the place, came and looked on him, and passed by on the other side.  But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was:  and when he saw him, he had compassion on him, And went to him, and bound up his wounds, pouring in oil and wine, and set him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn, and took care of him.  And on the morrow when he departed, he took out two pence, and gave them to the host, and said unto him, Take care of him; and whatsoever thou spendest more, when I come again, I will repay thee.  Which now of these three, thinkest thou, was neighbour unto him that fell among the thieves?  And he said, He that shewed mercy on him.  Then said Jesus unto him, Go, and do thou likewise.  Now it came to pass, as they went, that he entered into a certain village:  and a certain woman named Martha received him into her house.  And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus’ feet, and heard his word.  But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone?  bid her therefore that she help me.  And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things:  But one thing is needful:  and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.”

Luke 10:25-42

Are you uncomfortable yet?

“And Jesus went into the temple of God, and cast out all them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the seats of them that sold doves, And said unto them, It is written, My house shall be called the house of prayer; but ye have made it a den of thieves.”

Matthew 21:12-13

Are you uncomfortable yet?

“And at the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?  which is, being interpreted, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?  And some of them that stood by, when they heard it, said, Behold, he calleth Elias.”

Mark 15:34-35

Are you uncomfortable yet?

Are you uncomfortable yet?

Then get uncomfortable!

Get out of this megachurch, and out of your pretentious clothing–and go home! Smash your smartphones to pieces–and love one another again!

Stop hating Muslims for following their sacred scriptures–and start following yours!

Stop supporting ungodly bastards like Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton–and start taking responsibility for the godliness of your own community!

Stop raising and praising the Bible as the all-inspired, infallible Word of God–and start reading it!

And stop boasting about your belief in Jesus as the incarnation of God on earth–and start following Jesus, in word and deed!

Do this as oft as ye shall do it–and let me ascend into the next universe knowing I have made a positive difference in this one.




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