And this is my favorite from the seventh segment of The Friars Club Encyclopedia of Jokes (categories under the letter, G):

Two strangers met on a golf course and the conversation came around to their occupations.  The first man said he was in real estate; in fact, he owned a condominium complex that was just visible in the distance.

The second man said he was a professional assassin.  His new acquaintance was skeptical until the man took some pipes out of his golf bag and assembled them into a rifle.

“I’ll be damned,” said the first guy.

“The best part of this rifle is the high-power scope,” confided the assassin, handing him the gun.

“You’re right,” said the first man.  “I can see into my apartment with it.  There’s my wife…and she’s in there with another man!”  Furious, he turned to the assassin and asked how much he charged for his services, to which the reply was, “A thousand dollars a bullet.”

The man said, “I want to buy two bullets.  I want you to kill my wife with the first one and blow the guy’s balls off with the second.”

Agreeing to the offer, the assassin looked through his scope and took aim.  Then he lifted his head and said, “If you’ll hang on a minute, I can save you a thousand dollars.”

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