FROM THE FRIARS CLUB #9

And this is my favorite from the ninth segment of The Friars Club Encyclopedia of Jokes (categories under the letter, I):

A married woman is having an affair.  Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine-year-old son in the closet.  One day the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet too.

Inside the closet, the little boy says, “It’s dark in here, isn’t it?”

“Yes, it is,” the man replies.

“You wanna buy a baseball?” the little boy asks.

“No, thanks,” the man replies.

“I think you do want to buy a baseball,” the little extortionist continues.

“Okay.  How much?” the man replies after considering the position he is in.

“Twenty-five dollars,” the little boy replies.

“Twenty-five dollars!” the man repeats incredulously, but complies to protect his hidden position.

The following week, the lover is visiting the woman again when she hears a car in the driveway and, again she puts her lover in the closet with her little boy.

“It’s dark in here, isn’t it?” the boy starts off.

“Yes, it is,” replies the man.

“Wanna buy a baseball glove?” the little boy asks.

“Okay.  How much?” the hiding lover responds, acknowledging his disadvantage.

“Fifty dollars,” the boy replies and the transaction is completed.

The next weekend, the little boy’s father says, “Hey, son.  Go get your ball and glove and we’ll play some catch.”

“I can’t.  I sold them,” replies the little boy.

“How much did you get for them?” asks the father, expecting to hear the profit in terms of lizards and candy.

“Seventy-five dollars,” the little boy says.

“Seventy-five dollars!  That’s thievery!  I’m taking you to the church right now.  You must confess your sin and ask for forgiveness,” the father says as he hauls the child away.

At the church, the little boy goes into the confessional, draws the curtain, sits down, and says, “It’s dark in here, isn’t it?”

“Don’t you start that shit in here now,” the priest says.

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