Last night, I encountered an unintentionally hilarious bumper sticker:

Stop, drop, and roll won’t work in Hell!

And it got me thinking of other such slogans I’ve encountered here in Pensacola, Florida (nicknamed the Buckle of the Bible Belt).  What do these people hope to accomplish with such garbage?  It’s certainly not appealing to non-Christians.  My mom always says, “You can draw more flies with honey than with vinegar,” and the above bumper sticker slogan is certainly vinegar.  It’s meant to terrify, not to attract.  People who display such garbage are not, in my opinion, truly concerned about your soul.  Rather, they are control-freaks who enjoy frightening you into submission to their twisted religious doctrine.  And it is just more evidence, to me, that Jesus had nothing to do with Christianity. 

Paul (whom I’ve never liked, even when I was Christian) states, “…if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”  Really?  Then why are Christians (people “in Christ”) no different than anyone else?  Why do they produce just as much evil as non-Christians?  And why do they suffer just as much as non-Christians?  Another bumper sticker I’ve encountered attempts to answer these questions:

Christians aren’t perfect, just forgiven.

This one refutes Paul’s statement–Christians aren’t “new creatures”, after all.  But they are forgiven.  Of course they’re forgiven no matter what they do, simply because of what they believe.  Likewise people who are not Christian are not forgiven, no matter what they do, simply because of what they believe.

In the Gospels, Jesus teaches that you can know people by their fruits.  If they’re rotten fruit trees, they produce rotten fruit; if they’re good fruit trees, they produce good fruit.  And all my life, I’ve seen alot of rotten fruit produced by alot of devout Christians.  The following are a few more examples–feel free to add to this pathetic, yet darkly amusing list.

If you don’t stop using my name in vain, I’m going to make the traffic slower!

Islam is of the Devil!

Where are you going when you die, Heaven or Hell!

Prepare to meet God!

Know Jesus, know peace–no Jesus, no peace!

Jesus didn’t die on the cross so you could hunt Easter eggs!

Find Jesus before he finds you!


  1. 1 abby February 22, 2012 at 12:00 pm

    I tried going to church for a while. Your blog post sums up why I didn’t keep at it.

    I thought you’d left us last fall, but now I see you’ve started up blogging again! So nice to see you 🙂 Thanks for coming and visiting at my place!

    • 2 solosocial February 23, 2012 at 3:20 am

      Even when I was Christian, I could never truly worship the Creator in a church (unless I was the only one there)–too many distractions. I believe no one can worship the Creator when with others as well as when alone. The Bible even teaches that we stand before God alone. Borrowing a couple lines from a Cher song, “You may have a lover wherever you go–but sooner or later we all sleep alone.”

      Thank you, Abby!

  2. 3 NobblySan February 22, 2012 at 5:30 pm

    I might get one of those for my front door to warn visitors….

    …..the one that says “Prepare to meet Dog!”

    • 4 solosocial February 23, 2012 at 3:07 am

      Ha! Reminds me of this old joke:

      What do you get when you cross an insomniac, a dyslexic, and an agnostic?

      Someone who sits up all night wondering if there is a Dog!

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