FROM THE BOOK OF QUESTIONS #15

Another question from Gregory Stock’s book is this:

Would you accept $10,000 to shave your head and continue your normal activities sans hat or wig without explaining the reason for your haircut?

This one’s too easy–my head’s already shaved!  In fact, I shave my head at least once a month–I get a buzzcut at the nearest barber shop, at the lowest setting of the clippers.  The reason–it’s hot as hell here in Pensacola, Florida, and I have to keep a scalp like Bruce Willis’ just to stay cool!  Still, I would gladly accept $10,000 every month for this necessary buzzcut (I’d end up being as rich as Bruce Willis)!  In the good old days, when global warming was just speculation, I was able to let my hair grow abundantly year-round.  And I have beautiful hair–it’s my best feature.  I kid you not, my hair is very much like Ted Danson’s.  It is thick, it is full, it is sleek, it is wavy–and it grows very rapidly.  And though it becomes more gray with each new, stressful year, it’s still beautiful.  And it’s beautiful whether it’s cut almost to the scalp, or styled out like Danson’s is.  As this global warming intensifies (we didn’t even have a winter this year), I may soon need to move north.  And the farther north I move, the more likely I’ll be able to let my hair grow out to its most glorious, at least during the winter.  Until then though, my scalp will have to remain like that of Bruce Willis year-round.  What can I say–I’m literally hotheaded!

And as I mention Ted Danson, I want to ask a favor of you.  Please call or email WGN TV (Chicago), and tell them to bring back Cheers!  The phone number is (773) 528-2311, and the email address is programming@wgntv.com.  For no good reason, WGN recently dropped its weekday afternoon re-airing of Cheers (the greatest sitcom ever made, in my opinion) before the series finale!  Now I’ll admit, I’d seen the entire series (which ran from 1982-1993) before–but it’s downright inconsiderate to stop the re-airing of a series before the series ends, don’t you agree?  Even if you’re not a fan of Cheers, I would appreciate your doing this.  I would also like to read your thoughts about the series–particularly the Diane vs. Rebecca factor.  Did you like the show better when Diane (Shelley Long) was Sam’s love-interest or when Rebecca (Kirstie Alley) was?

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