Another question from Gregory Stock’s book is this:

What one thing do you think would most draw the opposite sex to you: better looks, more education, more money, more confidence, or something else?

Indifference.  Nice guys do finish last, but so do mean guys.  It’s indifferent guys who finish first.  Nothing is more attractive to the opposite sex–male or female–than indifference. 

The problem is that indifference cannot be faked.  If I’m attracted to someone, she’s going to know it no matter how much I try to hide it.  Women like a challenge, just as men do.  But the female sex is the more intuitive sex.  So men like me, who fall in love too quickly, don’t stand a chance.

Cynical?  Perhaps.  But it’s true.  The way to attract someone is to be genuinely disinterested.  Yet if you’re genuinely disinterested, you cannot appreciate her attraction to you.  It’s a paradox.

This is one reason my television idol has always been Mr. Spock.  Because he is indifferent toward every woman, every woman desires him.

14 Responses to “FROM THE BOQ: LOVE & SEX #10”

  1. 1 IzaakMak May 22, 2012 at 1:42 am

    You are so spot on here my friend. And I so want to be like Spock! Did you ever see the original version of Bedazzled, where Dudley Moore becomes the great love song singing star but he Devil steals his thunder by being a rock star that’s indifferent to the women swooning over him? Hilarious, but oh so sad! 😀

  2. 3 IzaakMak May 22, 2012 at 1:45 am

    I found a clip! 😀

  3. 7 nursemyra May 22, 2012 at 5:14 am

    I think confidence is extremely attractive. If someone is not interested in me, I usually reciprocate the feeling

  4. 9 bearmancartoons May 22, 2012 at 7:48 am

    Confidence will take you further than any of the other things.

  5. 11 Abby May 22, 2012 at 10:56 pm

    I love your introspection here. I honestly hadn’t thought about this – maybe because I’ve been married so long, I don’t think about attracting anyone (and I realize that’s a good thing!) But it reminds me of that notion of how, once we stop wanting something, it comes at us in droves. Indifference is a sexy paradox!

  6. 13 frigginloon May 24, 2012 at 3:28 am

    It works for both sexes. Woman who are open about their feelings scare off men.

    • 14 solosocial May 24, 2012 at 4:10 am

      Yes, it does. It’s human nature to want what we can’t have, and to reject what we can. But why?

      Robert Browning wrote, “…a man’s reach should exceed his grasp–or what’s a heaven for?”

      Yet for me, that’s what makes our lives such hell–reaching for everything we cannot grasp, and discarding everything we can.

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