FROM THE BOQ: LOVE & SEX #11

Another question from Gregory Stock’s book is this:

If you were confident that their choice would be a good one, would you be willing to have your parents select your spouse?  If not, why not?

My parents have been married since 1951.  Yet I wouldn’t want a marriage like theirs.  They are too similar, so much that they can hardly make any decisions independent of one another.  They’re so alike that they’re practically one person–of a single identity.  This is very unusual–the only well-known marriage similar to my parents’ was that of Ronald and Nancy Reagan.

Still, if I were confident their choice would be a good one, I’d be willing to have them select my bride (with her consent, of course).  Dating (courtship) is frustrating at best.  I’d much rather have a compatible wife than continue the process of mate selection indefinitely.

9 Responses to “FROM THE BOQ: LOVE & SEX #11”


  1. 1 IzaakMak May 26, 2012 at 1:45 am

    I’ve always been fascinated by the linkage between relationships, marriage, and tradition. As you might already suspect, my personal views on the matter are “unusual” to say the least. In my Tolerance… Not! Gays and Marriage post, which is really more about marriage than it is about Gays, I described what I think is the the closest humans could ever get to the “ideal” arrangement… 😕

    • 2 solosocial May 26, 2012 at 6:20 pm

      Actually the arrangement you describe in your post is historical, to a certain extent. Among the ancient Celts, marriage was not the norm. Men and women copulated freely, and their children were raised by the entire village–particularly the elders.

      • 3 solosocial May 26, 2012 at 6:23 pm

        I will add that I am opposed to “gay marriage”, though I respect your opinion on the issue.

  2. 4 frigginloon May 26, 2012 at 5:56 am

    Dear god Scott, NOOOOOOO!!!!! I couldn’t bear a life of complacency. I need a good fight now and then 🙂

  3. 6 Abby May 26, 2012 at 11:32 am

    I like your accompanying photo. Arranged marriages are still widely practiced in Indian families.

    I’d say yes here too. I think my parents are pretty level-headed and would have my best interests in mind when choosing a suitable husband for me. Of course the opening phrase “If you were confident…” makes that choice easier! But still, even without that part, I would trust my parents to make a good pick. They are not so much alike as you describe yours, in fact they are quite different in many ways and this has made them wise in the ways of marriage. So yes, I’d let them pick!

    • 7 solosocial May 26, 2012 at 6:07 pm

      You are fortunate! My parents aren’t nearly as level-headed as they think they are–so I would NOT let them choose, if I weren’t confident!

  4. 8 bearmancartoons May 26, 2012 at 2:06 pm

    I wouldn’t let my parents pick my haircut let alone my bride.


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