FROM THE BOQ: LOVE & SEX #14

Another question from Gregory Stock’s book is this:

In selecting a life partner, do you think it is more important to follow your heart or your head?  Would you ever let yourself fall in love with someone who wasn’t at all like the image of the person you would hope to find?

In selecting a mate, it is more important to follow your heart.  If you follow your heart, instead of your head, you may be miserable.  If you follow your head, instead of your heart, you will be miserable. 

As for the second part of the question, falling in love is not something one can choose.  I couldn’t help but fall in love with someone, whether she met my expectations or not.  This is because love is a feeling.  And as I’ve stated in a previous post: 

We have much control over our actions.  We have some control over our thoughts.  But we have no control over our feelings or beliefs.

6 Responses to “FROM THE BOQ: LOVE & SEX #14”


  1. 1 IzaakMak June 23, 2012 at 8:07 pm

    “We have much control over our actions. We have some control over our thoughts. But we have no control over our feelings or beliefs.”

    Not that I’m any proof that it’s possible, but believing that I can master the second thing, and thereby attain mastery of the first and third, is the only thing that keeps me going.

    • 2 solosocial June 23, 2012 at 8:27 pm

      Yes, this statement (belief) of mine can be misinterpreted. Though we have no control over our feelings or beliefs, our feelings and beliefs can change. But they can only change on their own. And what little control we have over our thoughts can cause our feelings and beliefs to change, indirectly.

  2. 3 Abby June 24, 2012 at 2:55 pm

    I agree with your choice of heart over head, and appreciate your clarifying sentence of “may” vs. “will”. There are certainly plenty of people out there who look like good matches on paper, but for whatever reason, don’t provide the necessary “fireworks” for a lasting relationship.

  3. 5 frigginloon June 28, 2012 at 7:53 pm

    Hmm, heart or head? Either way, there are no guarantees 😦


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