Archive for October, 2012
Tags: faraway town, pensacola beach, religion, spiritual journey, theology
Well it’s now my brother-in-law Jeff’s birthday. Happy Birthday to my brother-in-law Jeff. And since he is included among the six people in my life who hate me intensely (for no legitimate reason), that’s all I have to say about that.
My membership on this particular online dating site expires November 11–and I look forward to this more than you can imagine. I have never been so cynical about the female sex as I have, after being on the site for almost three months. The women on this site are far worse than those on the last online dating site I tried. Most of them represent the female sex at its absolute worst–shallow and demanding beyond belief.
A case in point:
My latest communication on the site was from a woman in the beautiful, but faraway town of Destin.
I responded thus:
Thanks for the wink!
I find you very appealing!
And I am very intelligent–just as you seem to be!
The only reservation I have is the distance between us. Destin is a long way from Pensacola–and since I’ve moved here (from Mobile, Alabama in 1998), I’ve developed somewhat of a phobia about long trips.
Do you ever visit Pensacola?
She replied that she lived in Destin half the year, and somewhere in Georgia the other half. She went on to point out how important her [Christian] faith was to her–and asked me to tell her about my spiritual journey.
I replied thus:
I replied to your email earlier, but for some reason, my reply did not go through. It was a long reply–maybe too long for the system to handle.
You’re right, Destin may not be as far away as it seems. And perhaps we could meet halfway (at least the first time)–on Pensacola Beach or in Navarre.
As for my spiritual journey, thus far (spiritual growth is a lifelong process after all), it could take up volumes.
You’ve probably seen my creed on my profile:
God is not limited to one system of beliefs; God’s word is not limited to one form of communication. God is beyond anything we humans can imagine, classify, or manipulate. In attempting to limit God, we only limit ourselves.
This came to me one day, as I was writing in my journal.
I am not a member of any organized religion–I have a personal faith, in which I simply walk and talk with God. I generally refer to God as the Creator. Because that’s what God is. In my opinion, there are no atheists. Because everyone knows that something created all that exists, and continues to create. Yet everyone has a different idea of the nature of the Creator (what the Creator is). I believe the Creator is a sentient being, not just a force. For only a sentient being could create sentient beings like us. In other words, the Creator is the Mind of all Minds. The Creator is not human. The Creator is not inhuman. The Creator is beyond human–so far beyond human that we cannot truly conceive of the Creator. Yet the beautiful thing is this: Despite the Creator’s immeasurable superiority over us, we can communicate with the Creator, anywhere, anytime. We are truly blessed. Of the species on earth, ours is the only one that can communicate with the Creator. The human species is the only one capable of spirituality.
As for the different religions of the world–I believe they are all equal, in the sight of the Creator. The Creator listens to the prayers and thoughts of Christians, Jews, Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, Taoists, et alia–as well as those who claim no organized religions as their own. Likewise, the Creator is always speaking to us (this is what God’s word is)–yet even the most spiritual of us are almost never listening. When someone says, “God spoke to me,” he/she is really saying that he/she happened to be listening to the ever-present voice of the Creator.
In my view–just as every religion has a different doctrine as to the nature of the Creator (what the Creator is)–every person has a different belief as to the nature of the Creator (what the Creator is).
There is one realization about the Creator that all religions share though: that the Creator is omnipotent (all-powerful), omniscient (all-knowing), and omnipresent (everywhere at once). And I share this realization too.
Sometimes I even suspect that the Creator is all that exists–that everything and everyone is simply an extension of the Creator.
In one of my poems, there are these two lines: “There is no time–it is a construct of man, who cannot comprehend eternity. There is no space–it is a construct of man, who cannot comprehend infinity.”
Yet the Creator can comprehend both eternity and infinity. Because the Creator is both eternal and infinite.
I hope this reply goes through. And feel free to ask me any other questions–it is a pleasure communicating with you!
She never replied. I wasn’t surprised–she claimed to be Christian. And Christianity is the only major religion in the world that accepts no other religion or faith as legitimate.
What did surprise me though was this: A few days later, I tried to access her profile in order to send a follow-up email. And I couldn’t access her profile–she was still a member, but had hidden her profile from view. And it remains so. In other words, no man on this dating site can see her profile. No man can “wink” at her, no man can email her (through the system). She can contact any man–but no man can contact her. If she did not want to hear from me again, she could have simply “blocked” me. But instead, she hid her profile from every man on the site. And I cannot help but wonder: Did my unconventional beliefs disturb her so much that she hid her profile from every man simply to avoid being contacted again by me? Is she so terrified of herself–so terrified that she might believe anything counter to her own Christian dogma–that she would go to such lengths to hide from it?
Tags: community, entertainment, gold dust woman, people, politics, transportation
I told my psychologist about my drunken posts last week–and how I’d come upon the idea (reading about “drunk blogging” on a woman’s blog). Well, she was quite expressive about it, her eyes widening, as she said, “Okaaaaaaaay!” Then I explained the purpose of them–and the fact that I could always edit them later, when sober. I’m very attracted to her. But I’ve developed a crush on every female therapist I’ve ever had. And this one is beautiful! I’ve actually offered her my website, but she isn’t interested in reading blogs–any blogs. She is the only person I know, other than myself, who doesn’t use a cellphone–and understands why I’m so opposed to the usage of them.
I did ask her once if she was married, and she said, “Let’s not go there,” so I didn’t.
I missed the Singletons dinner last night–it was way over at a place at Pensacola Beach, and I didn’t wake up in time. Tonight though, I went to a Mexican Restaurant where another group was scheduled to go, but the restaurant changed the schedule. So I ate at Millers Ale House–the first time I’d dined alone for several years. My waitress was nice, but ridiculously slow–and this confirmed a suspicion of mine: that you are not treated as well when you’re alone as when you are with at least one other person. In short, “Laugh, and the world laughs with you; cry, and you cry alone.” It should not be this way–but it is. People are naturally drawn to people who are not alone, and repelled by people who are alone. We humans are a social species, evolutionarily–and evolution is a bitch!
When I got back home, I couldn’t decide what music to accompany my Irish coffee–so I started with “The Chain” and “Gold Dust Woman” by Fleetwood Mac, then moved to “The Obvious Child” by Paul Simon, then moved to “Time Has Come Today” by the Chambers Brothers, then moved to “Tere Ishq Nachaya” by Aziz Mian, then finally ended my Irish coffee with “Hotel California” by the Eagles. See, I’m the most eclectic son of a bitch I know!
I received a DVD in the mail today (first time I ever received a free DVD in the mail) from some organization, initials only (obviously too ashamed to spell out its name) about President Obama and his “Communist” connections! Give me a break! I bent the damned thing out of shape and trashed it. I didn’t do this because I was afraid of learning the truth, but because I was afraid of being misinformed. See, it’s better to have no information at all than misinformation. But you know what’s sad? The majority of people here in Escambia County, Florida (the poorest county in this state, according to the “Pensacola News Journal”, and arguably the most ignorant) probably watched that DVD, and took it as gospel.
I hate this town–I really do. I only moved here (from Mobile, Alabama) because I had nowhere else to go. At that time (in 1998), this house had been vacant for a year, since my paternal grandmother was in a nursing home with severe dementia, possibly Alzheimer’s. In Mobile, I was attending graduate school at the University of South Alabama, but my Section-8 apartment complex had turned into an honest-to-God ghetto. So I moved to another Section-8 complex outside of Mobile, and my car was stolen from the parking lot three days after I’d begun moving my stuff there!
And things were reasonably okay here, until 2004, when that goddamned Hurricane Ivan struck this house–driving a permanent wedge between me and my parents. Still, this is the only house I’ve ever had all to myself–and I love it. I just wish I could pick up the house and move it to Mobile!
But I can’t. So I’m stuck here in what the “Pensacola News Journal” calls the “Buckle of the Bible Belt”–with White trash, Black trash, fundamentalist Christians, narcissistic beach-bodies, faggots/dykes, and military assholes! And if you don’t like my naked
driving writing, dial 1 (800) EAT-SHIT!
Seriously though–if you take offense at my writing, try to put yourself in my place. Because if you lived here, you’d probably feel the same way. That’s what open-mindedness is, after all. Open-mindedness is considering all points of view (liberal, conservative, and otherwise) before reaching a conclusion in one’s mind. “Open-mindedness” is not synonymous with “liberalism”. In fact, the most closed-minded people I’ve ever met were the most liberal, politically.
Well, I’m in the mood for Phyllis Thaxter.
Tags: alcohol, every time you close your eyes, health, mental health
How do you know when you’ve had too much alcohol? When your head spins every time you close your eyes. How do you know when you’ve had too much caffeine? You don’t–and that’s what makes it so much more dangerous.
Tags: arts, howling wolf, illustration, Native Americans, photography
The picture of the howling wolf at the end of the previous post can be found at http://www.firstpeople.us. I don’t normally cite sources of photos from the Internet–there are just too many of them. But the aforementioned photo has the word thief next to the caption–and I certainly don’t want to be thought of as a thief. Besides, I have a great deal of respect for Native Americans.
Tags: blogging, cars, technology
No, I’m not writing any more of these than usual–it’s just that I don’t write anything in-between, since I’m busy with this online dating thing right now. Got my first positive response though–will be interesting to see if it amounts to anything.
Where in the hell is everyone? Reminds me of that B.J. Thomas song: “Where have the people gone? Seems like there’s no one hangin’ on. Look through the window, the houses are empty. Hey, everybody’s out of town. Seems like I’m the only one around.”
I think it’s because it’s finally fall–though you can’t tell in the daytime. There are so many things to do, places to go once the summer heat and humidity let up–though it won’t be until late this month before the weather really gets nice. It’s always been this way, along the upper Gulf Coast–though moreso now that global warming is increasing exponentially.
I can’t get Delbert on the phone. Nor can I get Brandon, or his mom. And it’s too late to call my parents–they don’t like to be called after 9 pm. Besides, if they knew I’d been driving my dad’s truck drunk…Still, I’m a much safer driver drunk, or even high on caffeine than most other people in this nowhere town. Because I pay attention. I don’t even play the radio when I’m driving. Pensacola drivers were already the worst in the nation when I moved here in 1998. But since those fucking cellphones have been legalized, they’re unbelievable. My parents urge me to get a cellphone, for emergencies. No way! I’m not going to become another one of those goddamned cellphone zombies! The cellphone is possibly the most socially destructive invention in history. And I refuse to have any part in it.
Even tonight, at dinner with the Singletons, one of our members was fooling with a smartphone game, or texting (I don’t know which) the whole time we waited for dinner. He didn’t even say a goddamned thing to his girlfriend–just kept playing with that stupid piece of shit! Drivers use them. Pedestrians use them. And I guarantee the usage of these evil devices is responsible for far more accidents than drunk driving or speeding!
It’s so ironic–we have more methods of communication than ever, yet we communicate less than ever. People talk or text on their cellphones/
smartstupidphones while walking or driving or just standing around–ignoring those who are there, in person, right beside them! Am I the only person who sees a problem here?
We have gotten along without cellphones/iphones/stupidphones for tens of thousands of years just fine–and we’ve always gotten help in emergencies. The Internet is socially destructive enough–hey, I’m hooked on the Internet, I even spend more time on it than watching television. We’ve got to draw a line somewhere–we need to draw it with the Internet (and that doesn’t include ipads and iphones either, we shouldn’t use the Internet except when using an actual computer).
SO IF YOU HAVE A FUCKING CELLPHONE, IPHONE, STUPIDPHONE, GET RID OF THE FUCKING THING! ERASE EVERYTHING ON IT, AND TOSS IT IN A DUMPSTER–OR JUST TAKE A SLEDGEHAMMER TO IT! THAT DEVICE IS A BALL AND CHAIN FOR YOU, AND A DANGEROUS, DESTRUCTIVE NUISANCE TO EVERYONE ELSE. AND YOU DON’T NEED IT TO TAKE PICTURES–YOU CAN GET A FUCKING DIGITAL CAMERA FOR THAT. THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR YOU TO USE A CELLPHONE, IPHONE, STUPIDPHONE–GET RID OF THE GODDAMNED THING! HANG UP, AND DRIVE/WALK/TALK WITH THOSE RIGHT NEXT TO YOU! OUR SOCIETY IS GOING TO HELL, AND THE USAGE OF THOSE EVIL DEVICES IS ONE OF THE REASONS!
The primary reason our society is falling apart is the loss of two absolutely necessary institutions for any civilization: family and community. We don’t care about family anymore, and we don’t even know our neighbors anymore.
I know the “world” is not going to end on December 21 of this year, but a part of me wishes it would. There will be no Rapture, because there is no Christ–yet I can certainly understand why Christians hope and pray for it. This really is the worst era in human history. Sure, our ancestors had harder lives, as far as survival. But they had family and they had community–and we no longer do. Pardon my language, but this world really has never been as fucked-up as it is now!
And the United States–my country by chance, not choice–has been the leading fucker-upper of the rest of the world since 1917! And it’s still the worst influence of any country in the world!
Even my foul language in this post is, paradoxically, an indicator of how fucked-up this country is! Our ancestors didn’t use such foul language so often as we, because they had no fucking reason to!
And it doesn’t matter how you vote either–the only thing that can save this society is a major catastrophe that would bring us to our senses.