Archive for February, 2014

UNCOMMON SENSE

If the whole world believes in a stupid idea–it’s still a stupid idea.

–Zig Ziglar

SOMETHING OF WHICH I SOMETIMES HAVE TO REMIND MYSELF

Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.

Matthew 7:6

JUST A THOUGHT

The more I think about it…the more I think about it!

THEY DON’T MAKE ‘EM LIKE THIS ANYMORE

Terry Ryan

http://playmate.uw.hu/

THE GAY WRONGS MOVEMENT

WHO’S GAY, AND WHO’S NOT?

WHO GIVES A SHIT?

I wish to God those cops would have just left those homosexuals alone at the Stonewall Inn–they weren’t disturbing the peace.  Instead they busted them simply for being homosexual, thus unintentionally starting the “Gay Rights Movement”–arguably the most socially destructive social movement in U.S. history.

Before that, nobody cared.  Everybody knew Liberace was homosexual, for example, but that didn’t stop him or her from enjoying Liberace’s music. 

My brother Mike was homosexual–he died from AIDS complications in 1989.  Like Liberace, Mike was extremely talented.  He started out playing the piano, then the organ, then singing.  In fact, he was attending the divinity school at Yale University, on a scholarship from a very large church– in order to get his MA in sacred music–when his AIDS surfaced.  If Mike were alive today, I think he would be well-known worldwide, as a musical genius.  And I wish he were.  Mike kept his sexuality to himself.  He didn’t deny it, but he didn’t flaunt it either.  The church that gave him the scholarship knew he was homosexual–so did previous employers.  But it didn’t discriminate against him–in fact it applauded his great talents.  Why?  Because Mike didn’t force his sexuality on others.  He wasn’t ashamed of being homosexual–but he wasn’t proud of it either.

I surely wish homosexuals (male and female) today would follow his example.  “Gay Rights” activists (many of whom are not even homosexual) are among the most obnoxious, dogmatic, closed-minded, and downright vicious people in the world today.  They have no consideration for the feelings of heterosexuals (and even many homosexuals), whatsoever. 

I am convinced that homosexuality is not a sin, but a sickness.  It is not genetic–it is environmentally conditioned into a young (usually adolescent) individual by many, many different factors.  It is a psychosexual disorder–nothing more, nothing less.  And it has more to do with what is missing in a young person’s life than what isn’t.  I do agree, however, that homosexuality cannot be cured.

I treat homosexuals (male and female) the same way I treat heterosexuals–as human beings.  I’m not going to avoid you because you’re homosexual–but I’m not going to salute you for it either.  Why should I?  Again, it is a psychosexual disorder–nothing of which to be ashamed, and nothing of which to be proud. 

And if you dislike me for my views on homosexuality itself–that it is a tragic psychosexual disorder–then it’s you who have a problem, not I.  There is just as much evidence (or lack of it) that homosexuality is not genetic, as evidence (or lack of it) that it is. 

Yet even if I believed, as many people do, that homosexuality is a choice–that it is a sin, or even an “alternative lifestyle”–I’d still have a right to my opinion.

So, once again, “WHO’S GAY, AND WHO’S NOT?”

WHO GIVES A SHIT?

What matters most is not what you are, but what you do.

NATURALLY

My life didn’t turn out the way I expected.

I guess some mistakes you never stop paying for.

the-natural-movie-poster

(Yet this movie has a happy ending–unlike real life.)

FROM NATIONAL LAMPOON TRUE FACTS (#9)

During a Dublin, Ireland, performance of the operetta, H.M.S. Pinafore, actor Alan Devlin suddenly stopped as he was singing “I Am the Ruler of the Queen’s Navee.”  The orchestra stopped also, and the audience heard Devlin mutter, “Oh, dash this, I’m going home.”  Devlin then climbed off the stage and walked out of the theater, taking off his admiral’s uniform as he went.  Devlin later said he was considering some other field of work.

–San Francisco Chronicle

 

The corporation which is the principal producer of fuel for atomic-power plants in West Germany is named “Nukem.”

–Forbes

 

In Tokyo, where nightclubs often resort to elaborate gimmicks in order to entice customers, the Shojo Hiko cabaret featured hostesses dressed as protesters and helmeted waiters decked out as riot police, and staged several “demonstrations” each night in which customers who weren’t drinking enough beer were “picketed” and jeered until they called over a waiter-policeman and placed an order.  At the Transistor cabaret on the Ginza, all of the hostesses were under four feet tall.

–Variety

 

A loaded log truck heading south on Highway 29 near Bogia, Ala., lost two tires when a hub broke.  One tire, traveling at an estimated 60 mph, knocked down the front door of Bennie Earl Bass’s trailer home, destroyed a partition wall between the bedroom and bathroom, then slammed into Bass, knocking him off the toilet.

–(Flomaton, Alabama)

LEST WE FORGET–SHIRLEY TEMPLE GREW UP!

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FROM NATIONAL LAMPOON TRUE FACTS (#8)

The 2-year-old daughter of Bapusaheb Kukulwar of Yavatmal, India, was playing in the courtyard of her house when she spotted a black cobra close by.  Her parents were watching when the little girl grabbed the snake and instinctively put it into her mouth.  They rushed to take the deadly snake from her, but the girl had already bitten the reptile to death.

–Hindustan Times

 

In an attempt to boost morale, the Army Material Command held a contest to name its new national headquarters building.  More than 500 names were sent in and duly considered by the AMC’s official Contest Committee to Name the New Building.

The winning name, submitted by Francis Sikorski, a civilian employee, was “The AMC Building.”  Mr. Sikorski received $100 for his suggestion.

–Daily Iowan

 

On the occasion of his 101st birthday, reporters asked Orrie Boss of Lowell, Mich., the secret of his longevity.  “See to it that you’re standing on grass, rather than concrete, when you fall over drunk,” said Boss.  “And make sure your doctor is dead, as that is strong motivation not to get sick.  My doctor’s been dead for 14 years.”

–Boston Globe

 

A man wearing a Halloween mask and carrying a revolver walked into a liquor store in Riverside, Calif., on Thanksgiving Day and asked the clerk, Thomas Dougherty, “How’s business?”

Dougherty replied that it had been a rotten day; customers had stayed home because of the holiday.  The would-be holdup man nodded sympathetically and left.

–New York Daily News

 

Jean Pradal of Moissac, France, treated himself to a Christmas present of a gaily decorated coffin, to celebrate the second time doctors declared him dead.

Pradal, who was put into a morgue after being injured by a mine in 1942, found himself in a coffin again after a recent car crash.  Just as the undertaker was nailing down the lid he sat up and said, “I may be dead, but I’m feeling very hungry.”

–San Francisco Chronicle

 

A Corsican soccer fan, Jean-Marc Lucchetti, received a three-month jail term for interfering with play at an important match in Murano, Italy.  When a Murano player kicked what appeared to be a certain goal against his team, Luchetti drew a revolver and shot the ball.

–Winnipeg (Manitoba, Canada) Free Press

FROM NATIONAL LAMPOON TRUE FACTS (#7)

A  Kenyan man was sentenced to three years in prison by a court in Nairobi for counterfeiting.  The man had produced Kenyan currency notes that bore a likeness of himself.

–Los Angeles Times

 

From the Philadelphia Inquirer:  A curious thing happened in Santiago, Chile, as Pope John Paul II was addressing about 80,000 young people in a soccer stadium Thursday.  “Do you reject the idol of wealth?” asked the pope.  “Yes,” came the response.  “Do you reject the idol of power?” he asked.  Again, “Yes,” came from the audience.  Finally John Paul asked, “Do you reject the idol of sex?”  Back came a soft chorus of “No.”  The pope made like he didn’t notice and continued with his prepared remarks.

 

Two hundred and fifty guests were on hand to witness the marriage of Julio Cesar Lacerda to Conceicao Domingues in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, when Maria Francisca Da Silva stepped forward and claimed to be carrying Lacerda’s baby.  A fistfight broke out between the two assembled families while Da Silva retreated to a corner of the room where she went into labor. 

“I did what I did because I could not really raise our child alone,” Da Silva said later.  “But I still don’t understand how he could want to marry such an ugly woman.”

–UPI

 

In Israel, Rabbi David Peretz, chief rabbi of Tiberias, revoked the kosher-food license of the Tiberias Club Hotel, claiming “the hotel had sinned and did not deserve a license to serve kosher food.”

According to the Los Angeles Times, the hotel had allowed “a naked couple to have sex in a helicopter hovering above its pool during a New Year’s party.”  The 20-minute aerial sex act, watched by guests from their bedrooms, was the main attraction at the celebration, which was sold out.

 

A tour entitled “Things That Rot, Stink, and Eat Dead Meat” was one of 11 events staged by the Martin Park Nature Center in Oklahoma City, Okla., during the park’s summer festival.  Participants learned about “decomposers,” the ultimate link in the food chain and an often-neglected subject, according to naturalist and tour leader Neil Garrison.  Garrison said most park visitors go to see the “flowers and the cute little bunnies that eat the flowers,” but without the decomposers “we’d have bodies stacking up everywhere.”

–Daily Oklahoman


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