FROM NATIONAL LAMPOON TRUE FACTS (#3)

Waldwick Soriano was singing a song called “I Am Not a Dog” at an outdoor concert in Juarzeiro Do Norte, Brazil, when a dog walked onstage wearing a sign that read, “I’m not Waldwick Soriano.”

Soriano, who was not amused, proceeded to insult the audience.  A brawl resulted and the singer fled to his hotel.

Detroit Free Press

 

A 22-year-old Amarillo, Tex., woman told police that a tall man pushed her into an elevator, saying, “There’s nothing they can do to stop me.”  He then lifted her dress and smashed two raw eggs on her buttocks.  When the elevator doors opened again, the attacker fled.

Amarillo Daily News

 

The owners of a wildlife preserve in Winston, Ore., were reported to be desperately searching for a female companion for George, a two-humped camel so sexually frustrated that he tried to mate with a 15-passenger minibus. 

“He works up a good frothing at the mouth and makes clumsy, lunging, drooling passes at the park’s minibus every time it passes through his territory,” said an official of Wildlife Safari, George’s home.

–(Morristown, N.J.) Daily Record

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