FROM NATIONAL LAMPOON TRUE FACTS (#7)

A  Kenyan man was sentenced to three years in prison by a court in Nairobi for counterfeiting.  The man had produced Kenyan currency notes that bore a likeness of himself.

–Los Angeles Times

 

From the Philadelphia Inquirer:  A curious thing happened in Santiago, Chile, as Pope John Paul II was addressing about 80,000 young people in a soccer stadium Thursday.  “Do you reject the idol of wealth?” asked the pope.  “Yes,” came the response.  “Do you reject the idol of power?” he asked.  Again, “Yes,” came from the audience.  Finally John Paul asked, “Do you reject the idol of sex?”  Back came a soft chorus of “No.”  The pope made like he didn’t notice and continued with his prepared remarks.

 

Two hundred and fifty guests were on hand to witness the marriage of Julio Cesar Lacerda to Conceicao Domingues in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, when Maria Francisca Da Silva stepped forward and claimed to be carrying Lacerda’s baby.  A fistfight broke out between the two assembled families while Da Silva retreated to a corner of the room where she went into labor. 

“I did what I did because I could not really raise our child alone,” Da Silva said later.  “But I still don’t understand how he could want to marry such an ugly woman.”

–UPI

 

In Israel, Rabbi David Peretz, chief rabbi of Tiberias, revoked the kosher-food license of the Tiberias Club Hotel, claiming “the hotel had sinned and did not deserve a license to serve kosher food.”

According to the Los Angeles Times, the hotel had allowed “a naked couple to have sex in a helicopter hovering above its pool during a New Year’s party.”  The 20-minute aerial sex act, watched by guests from their bedrooms, was the main attraction at the celebration, which was sold out.

 

A tour entitled “Things That Rot, Stink, and Eat Dead Meat” was one of 11 events staged by the Martin Park Nature Center in Oklahoma City, Okla., during the park’s summer festival.  Participants learned about “decomposers,” the ultimate link in the food chain and an often-neglected subject, according to naturalist and tour leader Neil Garrison.  Garrison said most park visitors go to see the “flowers and the cute little bunnies that eat the flowers,” but without the decomposers “we’d have bodies stacking up everywhere.”

–Daily Oklahoman

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