FROM NATIONAL LAMPOON TRUE FACTS (#8)

The 2-year-old daughter of Bapusaheb Kukulwar of Yavatmal, India, was playing in the courtyard of her house when she spotted a black cobra close by.  Her parents were watching when the little girl grabbed the snake and instinctively put it into her mouth.  They rushed to take the deadly snake from her, but the girl had already bitten the reptile to death.

–Hindustan Times

 

In an attempt to boost morale, the Army Material Command held a contest to name its new national headquarters building.  More than 500 names were sent in and duly considered by the AMC’s official Contest Committee to Name the New Building.

The winning name, submitted by Francis Sikorski, a civilian employee, was “The AMC Building.”  Mr. Sikorski received $100 for his suggestion.

–Daily Iowan

 

On the occasion of his 101st birthday, reporters asked Orrie Boss of Lowell, Mich., the secret of his longevity.  “See to it that you’re standing on grass, rather than concrete, when you fall over drunk,” said Boss.  “And make sure your doctor is dead, as that is strong motivation not to get sick.  My doctor’s been dead for 14 years.”

–Boston Globe

 

A man wearing a Halloween mask and carrying a revolver walked into a liquor store in Riverside, Calif., on Thanksgiving Day and asked the clerk, Thomas Dougherty, “How’s business?”

Dougherty replied that it had been a rotten day; customers had stayed home because of the holiday.  The would-be holdup man nodded sympathetically and left.

–New York Daily News

 

Jean Pradal of Moissac, France, treated himself to a Christmas present of a gaily decorated coffin, to celebrate the second time doctors declared him dead.

Pradal, who was put into a morgue after being injured by a mine in 1942, found himself in a coffin again after a recent car crash.  Just as the undertaker was nailing down the lid he sat up and said, “I may be dead, but I’m feeling very hungry.”

–San Francisco Chronicle

 

A Corsican soccer fan, Jean-Marc Lucchetti, received a three-month jail term for interfering with play at an important match in Murano, Italy.  When a Murano player kicked what appeared to be a certain goal against his team, Luchetti drew a revolver and shot the ball.

–Winnipeg (Manitoba, Canada) Free Press

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