FROM THE BOQ: LOVE & SEX #26

Another question from Gregory Stock’s book is this:

If you could either double or halve your desire for sex, which would you do?  How do you think such a change would alter your relationship?

Risky move, either way–but I would double it.

Most men don’t fall in love immediately upon attraction.  There’s a saying, “Men fall in love with the women to whom they are attracted; women become attracted to the men with whom they fall in love.”

In other words, men and women do the same things, though in reverse order.  A woman falls in love with a man’s non-physical characteristics, then eventually becomes physically attracted to him as well.  A man is either physically attracted to a woman or he isn’t.  If he is, he eventually falls in love with her as well. 

There are definitely exceptions to this tendency, among members of either sex–and I’m one of them.  Unlike most men, if I’m physically attracted to a woman, I immediately fall in love with her.

I’ve always been unlucky with women, and this is certainly one reason why.  Both men and women are intuitive, though it does seem that women’s intuition is often more advanced.  So a woman can definitely sense my physical attraction to her, and that’s okay.  But she can also sense my immediate emotional attachment–and that’s not okay.  She’s not used to that–it’s too much at one time, thus it scares the hell out of her.

Therefore–theoretically–if I could double my desire for sex, then my physical attraction toward a woman would far exceed my emotional attachment to her.  As a result, instead of focusing on getting a date with her, courting her, then having sex with her, I would only focus on having sex with her.  I’d cut to the chase, get to the point–and either she’d take me up on it or not. 

And whether she accepted my sexual proposal or rejected it, I would not be hurt.  Unrequited sex does not hurt–but unrequited love definitely does.

As for the second part of the question, my relationship would not be altered, because I have no relationship, in the first place.  However–I might soon develop a relationship, if I could double my desire for sex.  In fact, I might even develop several relationships–and what a wonderful choice I would have to make!

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