Another question from Gregory Stock’s book is this:

If you had a terrific sexual and emotional relationship with your partner, would you be more disturbed to learn that your partner occasionally had brief sexual flings, or regularly had sexual fantasies about other people?  Why?

I would be much more disturbed to learn that she had brief sexual flings–in fact, I should hope I’d have sense (and self-respect) enough to leave her immediately, if this were the case.

On the practical side, she couldn’t bring home diseases with sexual fantasies–but she could literally kill me with what she picked up during sexual flings.

And on the emotional side, I could not judge her for regularly having sexual fantasies about other people, but definitely could judge her for acting on them. 

There’s a big difference between having fantasies and acting on them.  Sexual fantasies are thoughts, while sexual flings are actions.

And repeating my statement from my previous “Book of Questions: Love & Sex” post (this time in reverse order):

We have no control over our feelings or beliefs.  We have some control over our thoughts.  But we have much control over our actions.

0 Responses to “FROM THE BOQ: LOVE & SEX #32”

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