Here’s another favorite of mine from The Friars Club Private Joke File:

Jennifer suspects her husband is cheating on her.  One day while she’s at work, she dials her home and a strange woman answers.  “Who is this?” Jennifer demands.”

“This is the maid,” answers the woman.

“We don’t have a maid,” says Jennifer.

“I was hired this morning by the man of the house.”

“Well, this is his wife.  Is he there?”

“He’s upstairs in the bedroom with someone I figured was his wife.”

Jennifer is fuming.  “Listen, would you like to make $50,000?”

“What would I have to do?”

“I want you to get my gun from the desk, and shoot the jerk and the bitch he’s with.”

The maid puts the phone down; Jennifer hears footsteps and two gunshots.  The maid comes back to the phone and asks, “What do I do with the bodies?”

“Throw them in the swimming pool.”

Puzzled, the maid answers, “But . . . there’s no pool here.”

A long pause.  “Is this 555-6897?”


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