Here’s another favorite of mine from The Friars Club Private Joke File:
Jennifer suspects her husband is cheating on her. One day while she’s at work, she dials her home and a strange woman answers. “Who is this?” Jennifer demands.”
“This is the maid,” answers the woman.
“We don’t have a maid,” says Jennifer.
“I was hired this morning by the man of the house.”
“Well, this is his wife. Is he there?”
“He’s upstairs in the bedroom with someone I figured was his wife.”
Jennifer is fuming. “Listen, would you like to make $50,000?”
“What would I have to do?”
“I want you to get my gun from the desk, and shoot the jerk and the bitch he’s with.”
The maid puts the phone down; Jennifer hears footsteps and two gunshots. The maid comes back to the phone and asks, “What do I do with the bodies?”
“Throw them in the swimming pool.”
Puzzled, the maid answers, “But . . . there’s no pool here.”
A long pause. “Is this 555-6897?”