DRUNKEN POST #46

“He descended into hell…”

Dressed in this monkey suit, it appears that I have one last task before I can get to the next universe.

“Good morning, brothers and sisters!  Welcome to the Mega-Baptist Church of Pensacola, Florida–the Buckle of the Bible Belt!  Jesus saves!  And God bless America!”

I went the way of Attila the Hun.  My brother’s marker–which is right beside mine–reads, “Music is eternal”–but mine does not read, “God is unlimited,” and I am really pissed off!

“Yes, Jesus saves–and God bless America, brothers and sisters!  Now…Who is that soiled beast?  Get him outta here!”

You get the hell out of the way, you “Howdy Doody”, “Alfred E. Neuman” motherfucker–and take your mindless religious, nationalistic bullshit with you.

Yes, I am quite soiled, ladies and gentlemen of this lost congregation.  And I really don’t want to be here.  But it appears that our Creator has one last task in mind for me, before I can leave this Digital-Age hell.

And I am not Jesus, though I descend into this Digital-Age hell–a part of the Apostles’ Creed that the United Methodists delete because it is unpleasant–the Apostles’ Creed with which you Baptists are totally unfamiliar–and which is definitely included in the Catechism of the Catholics, whom you Baptists so readily dismiss as “unchristian”.

If you want a point of reference for this intrusion–which I am sure will ruin your shallow Sunday, click on this link:

http://www.warprayer.org

Not now, you fucking idiots–later!

You worry so much about a devil–but the Devil is in your goddamned smartphone! You think you would recognize Satan–think again!  Satan (or the Antichrist, if you will) would not appear to you in any recognizable form.  No, he would appear as something so benign as your smartphone–and especially the social media–Facebook and Twitter–with which you spend most of your time on your smartphone.

So put those fucking smartphones away–and don’t even begin to use the “taking the Lord’s name in vain” label on me–having no understanding of that commandment from the Old Testament.  For you claim that the Bible is the all-inspired, infallible Word of God–yet you don’t read it.  And you claim that Jesus was the incarnation of God on earth–yet you don’t follow him.

How dare you!

Now here are the scriptures for today:

“Think not that I am come to send peace on earth:  I came not to send peace, but a sword.  For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. And a man’s foes shall be they of his own household.  He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me:  and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.  And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me.”

Matthew 10:34-38

Are you uncomfortable yet?

“And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are:  for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men.  Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.  But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.”

Matthew 6:5-6

Are you uncomfortable yet?

“And he said unto them, Ye are they which justify yourselves before men; but God knoweth your hearts:  for that which is highly esteemed among men is abomination in the sight of God.”

Luke 16:15

Are you uncomfortable yet?

“And he spake this parable unto certain which trusteth in themselves that they were righteous, and despised others:  Two men went up into the Temple to pray; the one a Pharisee, and the other a publican.  The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican.  I fast twice in the week, I give tithes of all that I possess.  And the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner.  I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other:  for every one that exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.”

Luke 18:9-14

Are you uncomfortable yet?

“Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on him, If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed; And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.  They answered him, We be Abraham’s seed, and were never in bondage to any man:  how sayest thou, Ye shall be made free?  Jesus answered them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Whosoever committeth sin is the servant of sin.  And the servant abideth not in the house for ever:  but the Son abideth ever. If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.  I know that ye are Abraham’s seed; but ye seek to kill me, because my word hath no place in you.  I speak that which I have seen with my Father:  and ye do that which ye have seen with your father.  They answered and said unto him, Abraham is our father.  Jesus saith unto them, If ye were Abraham’s children, ye would do the works of Abraham.  But now ye seek to kill me, a man that hath told you the truth, which I have heard of God:  this did not Abraham.  Ye do the deeds of your father.  Then said they to him, We be not born of fornication; we have one Father, even God.  Jesus said unto them, If God were your Father, ye would love me:  for I proceeded forth and came from God; neither came I of myself, but he sent me. Why do ye not understand my speech?  even because ye cannot hear my word. Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do.  He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him.  When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own:  for he is a liar, and the father of it.  And because I tell you the truth, ye believe me not.  Which of you convinceth me of sin?  And if I say the truth, why do ye not believe me? He that is of God heareth God’s words:  ye therefore hear them not, because ye are not of God.  Then answered the Jews, and said unto him, Say we not well that thou art a Samaritan, and hast a devil?  Jesus answered, I have not a devil; but I honour my Father, and ye do dishonour me.  And I seek not mine own glory: there is one that seeketh and judgeth.  Verily, verily, I say unto you, If a man keep my saying, he shall never see death.  Then said the Jews unto him, Now we know that thou hast a devil.  Abraham is dead, and the prophets; and thou sayest, If a man keep my saying, he shall never taste of death.  Art thou greater than our father Abraham, which is dead?  and the prophets are dead:  whom makest thou thyself?  Jesus answered, If I honour myself, my honour is nothing: it is my Father that honoureth me; of whom ye say, that he is your God:  Yet ye have not known him; but I know him:  and if I should say, I know him not, I shall be a liar like unto you:  but I know him, and keep his saying.  Your father Abraham rejoiced to see my day:  and he saw it, and was glad.  Then said the Jews unto him, Thou art not yet fifty years old, and hast thou seen Abraham? Jesus said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Before Abraham was, I am. Then took they up stones to cast at him:  but Jesus hid himself, and went out of the temple, going through the midst of them, and so passed by.”

John 8:31-59

Are you uncomfortable yet?

“And when he was demanded of the Pharisees, when the kingdom of God should come, he answered them and said, The kingdom of God cometh not with observation:  Neither shall they say, Lo here!  or, lo there!  for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you.”

Luke 17:20-21

Are you uncomfortable yet?

“And it came to pass that he went through the corn fields on the sabbath day; and his disciples began, as they went, to pluck the ears of corn.  And the Pharisees said unto him, Behold, why do they on the sabbath day that which is not lawful? And he said unto them, Have ye never read what David did, when he had need, and was an hungred, he, and they that were with him?  How he went into the house of God in the days of Abiathar the high priest, and did eat the shewbread, which is not lawful to eat but for the priests, and gave also to them which were with him?  And he said unto them, The sabbath was made for man, and not man for the sabbath:  Therefore the Son of man is Lord also of the sabbath.”

Mark 2:23-28

Are you uncomfortable yet?

“And when he was gone forth into the way, there came one running, and kneeled to him, and asked him, Good Master, what shall I do that I may inherit eternal life?  And Jesus said unto him, Why callest thou me good?  there is none good but one, that is, God.”

Mark 10:17-18

Are you uncomfortable yet?

“And, behold, a certain lawyer stood up, and tempted him, saying, Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?  He said unto him, What is written in the law? how readest thou?  And he answering said, thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself.  And he said unto him, Thou hast answered right:  this do, and thou shalt live.  But he, willing to justify himself, said unto Jesus, And who is my neighbour?  And Jesus answering said, A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, which stripped him of his raiment, and wounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead.  And by chance there came down a certain priest that way:  and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side.  And likewise a Levite, when he was at the place, came and looked on him, and passed by on the other side.  But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was:  and when he saw him, he had compassion on him, And went to him, and bound up his wounds, pouring in oil and wine, and set him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn, and took care of him.  And on the morrow when he departed, he took out two pence, and gave them to the host, and said unto him, Take care of him; and whatsoever thou spendest more, when I come again, I will repay thee.  Which now of these three, thinkest thou, was neighbour unto him that fell among the thieves?  And he said, He that shewed mercy on him.  Then said Jesus unto him, Go, and do thou likewise.  Now it came to pass, as they went, that he entered into a certain village:  and a certain woman named Martha received him into her house.  And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus’ feet, and heard his word.  But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone?  bid her therefore that she help me.  And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things:  But one thing is needful:  and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.”

Luke 10:25-42

Are you uncomfortable yet?

“And Jesus went into the temple of God, and cast out all them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the seats of them that sold doves, And said unto them, It is written, My house shall be called the house of prayer; but ye have made it a den of thieves.”

Matthew 21:12-13

Are you uncomfortable yet?

“And at the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?  which is, being interpreted, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?  And some of them that stood by, when they heard it, said, Behold, he calleth Elias.”

Mark 15:34-35

Are you uncomfortable yet?

Are you uncomfortable yet?

Then get uncomfortable!

Get out of this megachurch, and out of your pretentious clothing–and go home! Smash your smartphones to pieces–and love one another again!

Stop hating Muslims for following their sacred scriptures–and start following yours!

Stop supporting ungodly bastards like Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton–and start taking responsibility for the godliness of your own community!

Stop raising and praising the Bible as the all-inspired, infallible Word of God–and start reading it!

And stop boasting about your belief in Jesus as the incarnation of God on earth–and start following Jesus, in word and deed!

Do this as oft as ye shall do it–and let me ascend into the next universe knowing I have made a positive difference in this one.

2 Responses to “DRUNKEN POST #46”


  1. 1 duncanr May 8, 2016 at 8:42 am

    drunken post, eh ?

    then all I can say is – ‘In Vino Veritas’ !


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s




Categories


%d bloggers like this: