So much stuff about which to write–if my extremely correct grammar offendeth thee, don’t read it!
I thought of all kinds of starting points for this post–as I listened first to the Manchester Orchestra’s “Simple Math”–especially to the track, “Virgin”. I had to Google all over the place to find where I’d heard that–it was featured in a PBS documentary entitled, “Little Hope Was Arson”.
Very disturbing, yet well-made documentary.
Best documentary I’ve ever seen? “Crumb”–a 1994 documentary about the underground comic artist Robert Crumb–directed by Terry Zwigoff.
“Crumb” has everything–comedic and dramatic–watch it!
Another film I recommend:
“Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”
And a book I recommend:
Slaughterhouse Five, by Kurt Vonnegut.
In this film and in this book, the protagonist just shows up at random moments in his life.
“Yeah, Vinny–Scott Bakula, and all that.”
Next, I finally listened to the CD “In Cold Remembrance” by Ashes & Rain–after putting it off for God knows how long.
It is extremely dark, serious heavy metal–“death metal” as “Beavis and Butthead” would call it.
And one would would have to be drunk (or stoned) to appreciate it!
So I am on the floor of the nicest trailer in which I’ve ever been. And I find myself in mid-sentence–almost begging this woman not to give me leave, so as not to get a D.U.I.
Wouldn’t get a D.U.I. Yet I might salvage something here.
“So sorry I drank all of your Kahlua.”
Truly wish I could remember this woman’s name.
“You’re 48? I’m actually older than you, at this point.”
What a fool I was–I couldn’t take my eyes off the photograph of her younger self (resembling Tammy Wynette), as I became one with this lovely–who actually put talcum powder on her trim beforehand. What a unique woman. Relish whom you have.
I’d make the same mistake with Ruth–focusing on the photograph of her younger self, as she bathed afterward.
Relish what you have–and whom you have–in the moment.
“…it’s always the same old story–you never know what you’ve got till it’s gone”
Mike and the Mechanics
“Relinquish your attachment to the outcome–everything is as it is
meant to be, in this moment.”
“Yes, I am so sorry I drank all of your Kahlua. Yet you’d be amazed at
where when I have been–a hell called the “Digital Age”.
“You’re not familiar with the “Digital Age”? You’ve never heard of the Internet? This is perfect–this is
where when I need to be.”
Yet then I surface to another. I know this one’s name–Sylvia. She’s 52–or so she claims (age doesn’t matter unless you are a cheese). I’ve become one with Sylvia too–in my (and my brother’s) old bedroom. It is 1989. Is this after, or before the woman before? No matter.
I reside in a trailer at this point. But this is not a nice trailer–it is a “trailer-trash” trailer in Eight-Mile–in the midst of a badly neglected trailer park.
Yet here I am with Sylvia in the home of my youth. My parents are away–caring for my dying brother in Connecticut. He has been the black sheep of my family because of his psychosexual disorder. Yet he is still Christian, in belief–so he will die forgiven, at age 33.
Then I’ll be the black sheep–because of my unconventional spiritual beliefs, and my unpopular political views.
But I don’t know this yet. And when I turn 33, I’ll expect to die, at the same age as my brother did–yet will be shocked to live on into the goddamned Digital Age, and to witness the slow, painful death of my country, and of my world–at the hands of Facebook and Twitter, and those diabolical mobile devices–those Digital-Age pacifiers (cellphones, iphones, and smartphones) that dehumanize all to which they are addicted (“It was the machines, Sarah.
Defense network computers Digital-Age pacifiers–new, powerful. We created them in our image–and they reshaped us into theirs.”)
All I know at this moment is that I asked–in an outburst of exasperation–“Won’t one of you women go out with me?”
And Sylvia emerged–alone amidst the throng of dancing damsels–and dared say she would.
Next week I would shudder from her. She’d have a cold, and be without makeup–thus revealing her true age.
She’d end up marrying a man of her age soon after. And I’d smile to think I had awakened her sexuality–thus preparing her for this match.
Yet this time, I’d know better than to leave her in the first place. For just as we are all naked beneath our clothes–all women are only human beneath their makeup.
Here I am only two years younger than she, in soul–at that moment in which I realize the nipples that adorn her disappointingly small breasts are far from disappointing. Indeed, they are as large as
And I’m gone again.
“Why does sex with you always end up with religion?” I remember a girl saying to a guy in an episode of a television series–or maybe a film.
And it does–I don’t know why.
Foreigners make the best Americans.
They know not to take this prosperity for granted.
They know not to take this liberty for granted.
Let therefore the followers of Donald Trump move to Mexico–and the same number of Mexicans move here.
And let therefore the followers of Hillary Clinton move to Syria–and the same number of Syrians move here.
“And Jesus went out, and departed from the temple: and his disciples came to him for to shew him the buildings of the temple.
“And Jesus said unto them, See ye not all these things? verily I say unto you, There shall not be left here one stone upon another, that shall not be thrown down.
“And as he sat upon the mount of Olives, the disciples came unto him privately, saying, Tell us, when shall these things be? and what shall be the sign of thy coming, and of the end of the world?
“And Jesus answered and said unto them, Take heed that no man deceive you.
“For many shall come in my name, saying, I am Christ; and shall deceive many.
“And ye shall hear of wars and rumours of wars: see that ye be not troubled: for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet come.
“For nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom: and there shall be famines, and pestilences, and earthquakes, in divers places.
“All these are the beginning of sorrows.
“Then shall they deliver you up to be afflicted, and shall kill you: and ye shall be hated of all nations for my name’s sake.
“And then shall many be offended, and shall betray one another, and shall hate one another.
“And many false prophets shall rise, and shall deceive many.
“And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold.
“But he that shall endure to the end, the same shall be saved.
“And this gospel of the kingdom shall be preached in all the world for a witness unto all nations; and then shall the end come.
“When ye therefore shall see the abomination of desolation spoken of by Daniel the prophet, stand in the holy place, (whoso readeth, let him understand:)
“Then let them which be in Judaea flee into the mountains:
“Let him which is on the housetop not come down to take any thing out of his house:
“Neither let him which is in the field return back to take his clothes.
“And woe unto them that are with child, and to them that give suck in those days!
“But pray ye that your flight be not in the winter, neither on the sabbath day:
“For then shall be great tribulation, such as was not since the beginning of the world to this time, no, nor ever shall be.
“And except those days should be shortened, there should no flesh be saved: but for the elect’s sake those days shall be shortened.
“Then if any man shall say unto you, Lo, here is Christ, or there; believe it not.
“For there shall arise false Christs, and false prophets, and shall shew great signs and wonders; insomuch that, if it were possible, they shall deceive the very elect.
“Behold I have told you before.
“Wherefore if they shall say unto you, Behold, he is in the desert; go not forth: behold, he is in the secret chambers; believe it not.
“For as the lightning cometh out of the east, and shineth even unto the west; so shall also the coming of the Son of man be.
“For wheresoever the carcase is, there will the eagles be gathered together.
“Immediately after the tribulation of those days, shall the sun be darkened, and the moon shall not give her light, and the stars shall fall from heaven, and the powers of the heavens shall be shaken:
“And then shall appear the sign of the Son of man in heaven: and then shall all the tribes of the earth mourn, and they shall see the Son of man coming in the clouds of heaven with power and great glory.
“And he shall send his angels with a great sound of a trumpet, and they shall gather together his elect from the four winds, from one end of heaven to the other.
“Now learn a parable of the fig tree; When his branch is yet tender, and putteth forth leaves, ye know that summer is nigh:
“So likewise ye, when ye shall see all these things, know that it is near, even at the doors.
“Verily I say unto you, This generation shall not pass, till all these things be fulfilled.
“Heaven and earth shall pass away, but my words shall not pass away.
“But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.
“But as the days of Noe were, so shall also the coming of the Son of man be.
“For as in the days that were before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noe entered into the ark,
“And knew not until the flood came, and took them away; so shall also the coming of the Son of man be.
“Then shall two be in the field; the one shall be taken, and the other left.
“Two women shall be grinding at the mill; the one shall be taken, and the other left.
“Watch therefore: for ye know not what hour your Lord doth come.
“But know this, that if the goodman of the house had known in what watch the thief would come, he would have watched, and would not have suffered his house to be broken up.
“Therefore be ye also ready: for in such an hour as ye think not the Son of man cometh.”
This same prophecy of Matthew 24:1-44 is also given in Mark 13–significant especially because Mark was written before Matthew. Mark–the earliest written of the four canonized Gospels (there were so many more that were not canonized)–was written approximately forty years after Jesus’ death.
Eagles. The sun and moon.
“When the mythological layer collapses, and the political kings fall, then the patriarchy, as a positive force, is over. The sun and moon energies can no longer get down to earth. Ancient Celtic mythology has an image for the end of the patriarchy, and it is this:
“Eagles sit on the top branches of the sacred tree, with dead animals underneath their claws. Rotting bits of flesh fall down through the branches to the ground beneath, where the swine eat them.
“We are the swine. When all the meat that comes down from above is rotten, then neither the sons nor daughters receive the true meat. Women have been and still are right in their complaints about the food they find on earth, but men are not well fed either. Naturally everyone is dissatisfied, for neither men nor women are receiving the true meat.”
Wrote Robert Bly, almost two millennia later.
Thus the apocalyptic imagery dances from our beginning to our end.
“Jesus of Montreal” and Andrei Tarkovsky’s “The Sacrifice”.
“Omen III: The Final Conflict” and “The Medusa Touch”.
They look for an Antichrist in the Holy Land–while the Antichrist sits patiently in their collective palm Sunday. It is a cellular drug of which they cannot get enough. And it tears them from their worship, their driving, their fellowship, their eating, their drinking, their loving, their thinking, their living. That Digital-Age pacifier is the epitome of the mammon of which Jesus speaks.
And I emerge here–at last with the first.
Oh to assassinate the Digital-Age Antichrist conceived by Jobs, Gates, Zuckerberg, and the like–retroactive revenge on the nerds. To shut down the system before it goes up.
Yet for now, “te quiero.” And this time, I’ll stay the whole night.